| secrets and lies |
[Sep. 16th, 2005|10:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed and down | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fall out boy-sugar, were going down | ] |
FUCK SECRETS FUCK LIES
SECRETS AND LIES ARE A FUCKIN BITCH
THAT'S MY FUCKING LIFE
SECRETS AND LIES ARE LIKE MY FUCKING THEME |
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|
| its been a long time |
[Sep. 15th, 2005|11:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | brand new-all the quiet things no one ever knows | ] |
its been a fucking long time
well for the people who dont know by now
i have a myspace
www.myspace.com/sumlee4124
so yea |
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|
| cigarette |
[Jun. 6th, 2005|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  asian needs ash | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dead kennedys-california uber alles | ] |
I NEED A FUCKIN CIGARETTE RIGHT FUCKIN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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|
| depression |
[May. 18th, 2005|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the verve pipes-the freshmen | ] |
why is every teen i know getting depressed
i feel like its my fault dat everyone is
gettin depressed ever since, i got of the
hospital everyone has been depressed its
all my fault im sorry you guys. maybe everything
will be better if i just went away forever n
da ppl will be happy again |
|
|
| rape me |
[May. 1st, 2005|04:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hate me | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nirvana-rape me | ] |
Rape me
Rape me my friend
Rape me
Rape me again
I'm not the only one
Hate me
Do it and do it again
Waste me
Rape me my friend
I'm not the only one
My favorite inside source
I'll kiss your open sores
Appreciate your concern
You'll always stink and burn
Rape me
Rape me my friend
Rape me
Rape me again
I'm not the only one
Rape me! |
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| fuck family |
[May. 1st, 2005|01:50 am] |
BOY: I saw her today
GIRL: I saw him today
BOY: It seems like its been forever
GIRL: I wonder if he still cares
BOY: She looks better than before
GIRL: I couldn't stop staring at him
BOY: I asked her how things were going
GIRL: I asked about his new girlfriend
BOY: I'd choose her over any girl im with
GIRL: He's probablly really happy right now
BOY: I couldnt look at her without starting to cry
GIRL: He couldnt even look at me
BOY: I told her I miss her
GIRL: He doesnt mean it
BOY: I meant it
GIRL: He didnt mean it
BOY: I love her
GIRL: He loves his new girlfriend
BOY: I held her for the last time
GIRL: He gave me a friendly hug
BOY: Then I went home and cried
GIRL: Then I went home and cried
BOY: I lost her
GIRL: I still love him
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I hate mom
I hate dad
Mom hates dad
Dad hates mom
I hate god
I hate jesus
God hates me
Jesus hates me |
|
|
| smoke |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|01:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blink 182-i miss you | ] |
fuck this i cant live like this
im jus goin throu fuckin shit n
everythings so fucked right now
i hate it i cant go 2 sleep
i cant eat, drugs are back in my
life now, my nicotine craving is
up, i hav depressed heartbeat, my
moms closet frend got lung cancer
last week and has 6 months 2 live
so many fuckin family troubles n
my dad wen he is coming back (my
real dad) i think he left again
wut the fuck is his problem, n
everyday ppl who i dont even fuckin
kno com up 2 me n ask me 2 show them
my scars, n 2day som kid got a red
sharpie n drew a line across his
wrist n said im chris i cut, dat
fuckin asshole i jus cant handle life
i wish i died seriously somebody
pleaz give me a fuckin gun, nothing
is helpin me not even cuttin, nothing
i need more drugs lik my favorite
heroin y did i fuckin break my syringe
i need it fuck everything i want 2 die
i need 2 die, i need a gun n i need
more cigerattes, im back 2 smoking
3 packs a day i jus dont give a shit
anymore fuck it i hate it... |
|
|
| who ever u are...? |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|12:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | fuckin pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the pixies-debaser | ] |
who ever the fuck is 323 850 3469
i will fuckin find u n youll wish u never
made da prank call bout my drug addictions |
|
|
| pleaz..... |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|09:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blink 182-adam's song | ] |
somebody pleaz tell me that some good will come out of my fuckin life?!?!?!
i cant live on like this |
|
|
| worst day ever |
[Apr. 26th, 2005|06:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | death is my only frend | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fuck music nothing is helpin me | ] |
i had da worst fuckin day ever
first of all da fuckin test i hate it
then i broke my cd player cuz i fuckin pissed
at everything. then on my fuckin way 2 my
therapist, i got jumped by som mexican ppl
n stole my 20 fuckin bucks, now my fuckin head
hurts cuz of them, and ive been goin through
som fuckin rough time, n cuz of everything dats
been goin on i smoked 30 cigerattes 2day n i feel
lik i need 2 smoke 30 more. im goin back 2 smokin
3 packs i dont care anymore fuck it, i jus wanna
die right now if i only had a fuckin gun
i need one rite now, cuttin myself isnt helpin
me anymore n i want my drugs back escipally my
favorite heroin and acid i need 2 get away
i miss it n i hate everything rite now i hate it
fuck everything no more crazy fuckin chris
its jus 2 much rite now n it has always been
fuck everything fuck it FUCK i hate it so much!!!!
dis song is 2 someone i USED to really cared bout n loved:
(blink 182-obvious)
I saw you again
I think you used me again
Should we try this before we give up and move on
And pretend to restore what we have and hold on
At times like these
It's obvious
I saw you again
I know you fucked him again
Can you comfort yourself with a sense of revenge
Are you leaving me here with the taste of the end
At times like these
It's obvious
At times like these
It's obvious
I saw you again and again and again
There's some room to move on, to move on, to move on
And I saw you again and again and again
How do we fix this if we never have vision
I saw you again and again and again
There's some room to move on, to move on, to move on
And I saw you again and again and again
How do we fix this if we never have vision
I saw you again and again and again
There's some room to move on, to move on, to move on
And I saw you again and again and again
How do we fix this if we never have vision
I saw you again and again and again
There's some room to move on, to move on, to move on
And I saw you again and again and again
How do we fix this if we never have vision |
|
|
| FUCK!!!!! |
[Apr. 25th, 2005|08:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | wut da song says | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nirvana-I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE | ] |
fuck everything
my gf wants 2 break up wit me
after i cared bout her so much
n after i try so hard everyday
2 find her n after i said i would
always b ther 4 her she leaves me
and gets a new bf
n o yea da yakuza wut da fuck
patrick brought it up n u used it
n all my frends would hav helped u
n they all cared bout u 2
but wut da fuck do u care
anyways everything is so fucked up
rite now. you guys wouldnt even kno
how much pain i go throu everyday
even drugs wont helped me escape
reality i wish i could hav died from
da tynonel overdose but nothing could
take my pain away i hate life so much
fuck everything i hate it i hate it
god take me away rite now
somebody pleaz hand me gun |
|
|
| new drug |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|10:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  uhhhh fuck | ] |
| [ | music |
| | taking back sunday-a decade under the influence | ] |
i found new gateway drugs
the first one is cough syrup
drink a whole bottle n ur wasted
n ive becom dependented on my zoloft
n over-the-counter drugs
but ive become addicted 2 cough syrup
its da best |
|
|
| wher r u? |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|11:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | taking back sunday-a decade under the influence | ] |
stef wher r u
pleaz does anybody kno wher she is
i miss her so much
i miss you!!!
i cant sleep knowin not wher u r
pleaz stef wher ever u r
try 2 contact me pleaz
stef im tryin 2 find u
wher ever u r pleaz kno dat i love you |
|
|
| ITS ALL MY FUCKIN FAULT |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|09:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ITS MY FAULT | ] |
ITS ALL MY FUCKIN FAULT OF WUTS GOIN 2 HAPPEN 2 MY GIRLFRIEND
ITS MY FAULT WUT DA FUCK IS WRONG WIT ME
I HATE MYSELF SOO FUCKIN MUCH
I SHOULD JUST DIE RITE NOW N PEOPLE WOULD BE SO MUCH FUCKIN HAPPIER
FUCK!!! |
|
|
| <333 |
[Apr. 12th, 2005|10:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | oasis-wonderwall | ] |
Take the quiz: "What kind of bf/gf are you?((with pix))"
romantic
You are the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend...you know just they way to be in a relationship! Don't change anything and good luck!
Hey Stef this is 4 u |
|
|
| in love... |
[Apr. 9th, 2005|11:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | love... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the ramones-i wanna be your boyfriend | ] |
im in love wit stef <3
(not da stef at my skoo)
i love you stef |
|
|
| so close 2 cancer |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|08:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | shit my heart n lungs | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nirvana-smells like teen spirit | ] |
hey
well, i was having heart problems (still am)
dis weekend, n my lungs really hurt a lot
so my lungs n heart are dying, my heart is
not beating as usual heart beat n i have
trouble breathing all the time, n my
depression is coming back o wow i hav a good life
i mite as well die rite now n if i do die n
i dont c u guys b4 i die well im sry n i wish da
best of luck 4 u guys |
|
|
| the inside of me are dead |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|11:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | black flag-depression | ] |
rough child hood leads to...
suffering leads to...
sadness leads to...
depression leads to...
hatred to themself leads to...
drugs leads to...
cutting leads to ...
chronic depressions leads to...
SUICIDE. |
|
|
| 7 days |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|02:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained out | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nirvana-heartbreaker | ] |
i saw ring 2 yesterday
its a very good movie it could of been scarier
although i didnt c da first 1 but i got da story
scary movie 3 so yea i got da story
n i saw my frend yesterday from da hospital im glad shes
doin alrite dats good 4 her seein her made me good
anyways i feel lik shit n dats all i got 2 say
uhhhh... |
|
|
| my perfect nightmare |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|11:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed/suicidal | ] |
i hate myself so much. ive been doing the same thing while i was in the hospital, hiding my feelings, and acting up and saying i'm ok dont worry about me. ive been lying to my therapist saying im doin great and i have no suicidal tendencies but i have them all the time. my friends might see the fake chris being happy and acting all fucking hippyish style. but i can never really show my real feelings to anyone. i hate everything, my life is a bitch. my real dad had to go to china for a month saying its an emergency what a fucking lie he just doesnt want to see me. my grandpa who i really didnt get to know died of lung cancer how ironic is that he smoked and i smoke hmmm... we have one thing in common. i was i right to believe what my arm said nobody loves me. NOBODY DOES LOVE ME AND IT'LL ALWAYS BE LIKE THAT TIL THE END. i seriously want to kill myself. i seriously want to die. i seriously dont wanna reach the age of 20, if i have to suffer so much pain everyday cause of that fucking douche bag called god then let death take me away right now. i hate my life i hate it i hate it i hate it. theres nothing good in my life. i have nobody to understand, i dont have friends who care actually i dont even have friends at all. i was born alone and i WILL die alone by my own hands. but even though i have nobody and people hate me i still love them i just wish i... |
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